been attending sch for the week. wound's getting better already although i noe it's still a long way to fully recover. been always hoping i was healthy yet still this yr was not a very gd yr for me ever since it started happening. 2 weeks of absentee was rather a hard period of time to catch up with my classmates. it was such a struggle. din noe how to go abt studying and stuffs. everything seems to be in a mess. my life seems to be in a mess no matter in wad situation. from the outside it's juz so messed up.

ct is next week. 4 papers on 4 days except tues. a tough period to go through i guess. misses out so many things during the 2 weeks. wondering how would my coming ct fare? hmmms out of 4 modules i'm only kinda confident on 2 and the other 2 i dunno how to do. it's juz so hard to understand and apply. not very confident of scoring well for this term. also i've change my way of studying i guess. i dun used to write out the notes but relying on reading most of the time. but i did it this time round. been hearing different stories about different people recently. too much of it until i felt there's prob in me too.

i felt of escaping everything from reality. i do not wan to face it. i felt so stressed up with things recently. juz feel lyk bursting out already. hmmms things getting so hard up recently. plus i'm not fully well. i felt trapped inside my own self. i cant control myself anymore. i felt so restless. hopeless. and useless now. feeling so weak both in the inside and the outside. i'm such a failure. i've nv been lyk this before. maybe i'm juz changing.

need time alone and left alone i guess...................


mood: moody and down =/