been reading people's blog lately. found out some things but some things are still unsure about it. sometimes things are not meant to be said. hmmm i wonder how's my fren now. since dunno when. we've not talk to each other. some wad i feel tat my fren's avoiding me still. maybe i'll juz hack care for the time being now already. i dun wish to care abt it anymore. it's been so long since we actually talked to each other. i guess there's juz too many things uncleared and too busy to talk i guess. hmmm nvm. in one more week time. it'll be my common test already. and wad am i still doing here. better get myself started on studying. although there's only 2 modules tat are set for my common test. but still i hadnt been listening in class tat much. so i better start revising now and hope tat i can score well for common test.

life's been changing for everyone. i've juz realised after reading so many of their blogs. hmmms. some did mention. some din. but anyway i hope that there's the best decision they make. and i hope they'll last long enough. and i wish u all the best for ur new r/s. heard that people had been commenting abt u and ur new guy. but i juz hope he's the best one for u. jia you gal! (=

oh ya. projects and presentation is piling up as common test is juz around the corner. it's lyk i have CATS presentation on next monday, AEL project to be done by next week, COMPRO project to be done by dunno when but i noe it's only a week allowance to be completed only. and wad else? hmmms today. i mean later at 1. i'm having my EEPS practical test. oh my tian. so many man. also my alumni concert is coming on the 29 dec. interested people please contact me eh. ngee ann band's concert coming too on the 5th jan i think. hmmms so many things to do. and i'm going to change to a new job soon. seriously, i've been kinda tired of cartel already. soon, i'll be leaving for a better job for a higher pay of course. and maybe a better environment to work in. but it's a lil far from my hse. shall see later bahs.

i simply miss going out with different grp of frens. firstly, of course is my gals. btrice and jaime. damn it's been so long i've seen them. miss them so much man. secondly, will be my ds frens. hmmms "so when's our next outing? so sorry ytd cant join u all. hahahs will have chance again right?" and thirdly, my other frens out there. so sry i din have the time to go out as project's piling. and rmb u have to book me beforehand? cos last min i wont entertain one. hahahs okaes la. maybe for some time can la. but most of the time my reply will be. " sorry i've been booked already" lols.

life is getting better and better so long as i juz forget the unhappy things tat is history already.

哪里有彩虹告诉我
能不能把我的愿望还给我
为什么天这么安静
所有云都跑到我这里

有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

看不见你的笑要我怎么睡
得着你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳开始环绕环绕
没有理由我也能自己走掉
是我说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

recently. i've been blogging a lot. a lot of things went through my mind. had been doing a lot of thinking recently. hmmms recently i had a so called quarrel with mr mean. was actually trying to undergo some persuasion. but in the end i burst out and i guess i said smth wrong. hmmms i wish to apologise but dunno how to say and where to start from. hmmm now it seems lyk we're not on gd terms. and i dun dare to talk to him. hmmms so sorry. i was being a lil too much tat time. i juz hope u read my blog. i rmbered in the past there was this time. we also blew up into quarrels before. and we managed to settle it and became gd frens again. i really hope things would get better some day. so sorry =/

anyway juz to add on. mr meanie. actually i've been reading ur blog almost everyday. whether did u update or not. i did read. i've always been a loyal reader to ur blog and some other people's too. juz tat i din wanna say out or tag u. sometimes things are juz not meant to say on the blog. so i rather i do not say anything at all. hmmms. anyway i did read ur past posts juz to let u noe. and this entry is mainly for u. hmmms thought a lot this days. and yea it's not u whom cause the problem ot anything. juz tat i've too many things up in my mind and things juz keep adding on. i juz hope our frenship still carries on. lyk the past. i was wrong to flare up at u that day. so sorry. i juz hope things would get better some day. =/

anyway ytd i went to help out at the cycling club to get cca points for the red camp. it was rather boring though but can say quite fun too. hmmms cos i saw a few of my sec sch frens. so long no see. i was so glad to see them ytd. saw yatiez, zameer, ramdan, sarimi and some more whom i dunno their names. hmms den it was rather boring staying at the cycling club. so went to walk ard. went to the avionics club den to dancesports. waited for sojini to end and den headed for a later dinner. went to cheers with quite a number of people. happily sitting there chatting and eating. was quite fun to be with the ds people. din noe when me and sojini actually get so close tgt but anyway she's a nice fren and a nice person to talk to. of course from her. i got closer to a bunch of them too. lyk richard, ck and ryan and not forgetting the pretty gal whom is always busy, pingting. hope to go out with them soon. it was a fun time every time we go out and our colour combinations were almost similiar to each other's everytime we are out. that's lyk so cool la. hahahs

juz to say. tat sun tat richard, sojini, ryan and me went out was a nice evening and fun day. had loads of laughter and fun at fish & co. at ps. hahahs and even get to noe new people from them. the staffs there were nice and we all had a lot of fun there. it's a memorable time we spent there. we shall go there again soon!

hmmms. decided to change a new skin. my new theme will be this for the moment. black and white!! i love black and white!! it somehow represents wad i'm going through now. seeing only the blacks and whites infront of me. or maybe i shld say. i'm already representing myself as both black and white. simple easy and nice. sonething i've nv tried to do it before. so i'll shall make this the first time. now i shall make my blogskin represent wad i'm currently going through.

seriously, i do love black and white. hmmmm i'm trying to get stronger each day. hmmms dun worry too much ba rx. i'll try to be okae soon. recently, things juz go the opposite way of me. hmmms anyway no need to worry much. i'll be alrite soon. anyway, was thinking through some things today. couldnt get through my mind yet.

damn i got loads of things to do this week man. jia lat. hmmms first, tmr got compro test. den wed got ampr test and this week got 2 projects to hand in. one is CATS and the other is compro mini project one. win already. sianz. can i dun study? hmmms. so many things not done. and moreover i needa start doing revision already. cannot slack any longer. better get myself start working. and do well for my upcoming commmon test. hmmms

i feel tat my body's getting weaker and weaker each day. recently, i've been more and more prone to nose bleeding and my stomach's not feeling veh well. a lof of things happen at the wrong time. i felt so useless in doing everything. common test's coming and wad have i done? NTH! and i said that NTH! haven started my revisions. still having my 'self declared' holiday. when am i going to start? i felt hopeless.

had a quarrel today? lyk juz? hmmms i guess it's me again. why do i get paranoid so easily? becos i'm unwell? becos i'm troubled? i cant stand things tat doesnt goes my way? sorry den. seriously, wad's the freaking probem with me? am i a busybody or i'm juz too sick too be seen to be bothered? hmmm i dunno wad am i ranting abt or rather wad am i saying. but being concern izzit a wrong thing to do? everything's going so not smoothly recently. i'm tired. i'm freaking tired. maybe from now on i'll juz be cold blooded. i shldnt care much abt other people's problem. i shld juz be bothered abt my own health. seriously, i've been hurt with ur doings. i dunno wad exactly u wan. and yes i cried. hmmms.

yea. i freaking hate myself now. i've not settle my own problem yet problems is adding to my wounds. i felt so pain. salt's adding to my unhealed wound. guess how pain izzit? concern? wad is concern? does anybody actually appreciate it? time? wad is time? time would heal ur wound? does it heal for mine? mine has been enlarging since dunno when? before i even leave for sabah. i thght things will be better for everybody when i leave for sabah. but i was wrong. things became worst when i come back from sabah.

sojini. ryan and rich. thanx for today. although u guys din noe i wasnt in a gd mood these few days. i was glad and happy tat i was out with u all today. i felt a lil better somehow. had fun with u all. shall meet up more often to go out again.



not in the mood anymore. leave me alone~ =/

suddenly. i felt the urge to blog. so wan to write something down here. suddenly i felt the urge of crying. i dunno wad's happening to me. somehow i feel so down recently. i look at people ard me. observe the people ard me. i realised they felt different. somehow some things in me been bothering me. seriously, i can say i'm crying while typing this entry.

i need a break. i need a break out of everything. somehow i'm so troubled by everything ard me. till i cant breathe already. i'm max-ed already. suddenly i felt so upset and down. leave me alone and away from everything.

i dunno wad's the problem with me neither do i noe wad's happening to me tat's making me feel this way. so dun ask me anything abt wad i blog. i juz wanna rant out my feelings now. i dunno wad exactly is bothering me till this stage tat i actually cried. damn. i wanna stay alone. alone and away. maybe i'll give myself a break tmr at work. go somewhere to relax alone before i even go home? i shall do tat. dun come and look for me. i juz wan to be alone.

i felt lyk a loser. a damn bad failure. failure in everything. who exactly am i? wad kind of person am i? i dun even understand myself and how would i expect people to understand wad i mean. damn i dunno wad am i thinking. seriously, i've been asking myself wad exactly is my personality and character? i also dunno. since dunno when till now. i still couldnt find out an answer. hmmms i failed to understand myself. i hate to be myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



current mood: DOWN!! LOUSY!!! FRUSTRATED!!! UBER TROUBLED!!!!!!!!!!

amaliah and me after training! pretty eh. arent she? (:

today is another new start of the week. and time pass really damn fast. now it's already the 4th week. and on week 8 is our common test. damn i think i've been playing through and not listening in class. i think i better start some studying soon. if not i'm not going to pass this sem. i really need to start to buck up on studying already. no time shall be wasted.

hmmms was thinking of joining a new sport. hmmms wad shld i join? clarwee. let's decide on one and join soon. if not we're going to lagg behind. hahahs. later bones become old. hahas. hmmm anyway was actually thinking of joining either squash or tennis. but dunno which to choose and the fee to pay for each sem is not cheap. so still deciding. anyone got any comments or anything suggestions to bring up abt it? hmmms.

anyway today's IS was a waste again. 3 weeks in a row there wasnt any real training on court. damn. why is every monday morning a rainy day? now i kind of dislyk monday morning juz becos of the stupid rain. hmmms. i wanna play real game man. damn. hmmms juz hope at least next week it's a better week to look forward to. anyway CATS is still as boring and stressful as ever. i kind of simply hate CATS a lot. damn freaking boring lesson. with freaking wierd lecturer. which his action actually is lyk a GAY?!!!! oh my tian! my goosebump are climbing all over me. sianz diaos. =.=

okaes anyway. today i brought farah to interview at my workplace. hahahs. someone commented tat she's pretty eh. hahahs hor SOME TWO?!!! hahahs. wan her number? lols. yappie and tat's the first time we actually talked so much and went out together. hmmms shld have taken a photo tgt. wasted! hahhas. aft the interview. we actually headed to suntec for a movie. the movie we watched was "the game plan". i rate it as 8/10. was kinda interesting and funny though. and i love his house. damn high class and high technology can? hahahs. win already!

was doing some stretching and pumping ytd so as to train myself to keep fit. but i think i'm a lil too stiff now. hahahs body's aching on my arms. too long nv train liao. i better start doing gyming and train myself more often. if not my bones are gonna get stiff man. hahahs okaes la. i shall slack one more day today. and start studying hard from tmr onwards! (=